A Day That Changes Begin

Today, I experienced a swift of tsunami falling onto my life. It was an undescribable feeling, total loss of words...but I keep telling myself that everything happened for its own reason on God's will. I do not know how to get it solved, neither how to prevent it from falling apart. It was a point whereby everything was at its lowest dot on life's chart. The only thing my heart could tell me is...keep praying and hoping God could answer my deep prayers. I realized there were loads of mistakes, loads of misunderstanding and breakdown in communication that have taken place over the past years, everywhere and anytime along the journey...may it be my own journey or others. Then, the prices to pay are unbearable. There are too many innocent beings involved...the closest ones who care so much, some are their next generation and also the elders who have sacrificed their whole life. I have made enough stands throughout this journey of life, in fighting for things I really want and things I really want for others, to make their world a better place to live in. However, it was so limiting and tight at hands on what I can do.


I feel sorry for all that have taken place. Past was a bygone, but it was full of memories in my mind, heart and soul. There are alot of unanswered and unsolved queries in mind, but guess it was the day I realized how I should put all these stubborness and expectations aside, simply because it really doesn't matter anymore. Sometimes, no matter how deep our love might be, we just couldn't find and reach that point of understanding and balance. Two persons who are seriously in love simply couldn't reach the same channel and the huge gap in communication has changed what you really want in life. That's when real disappointment, sadness, pain, devastation, vunerability and distrust set in and destroying the result we really really wanna see and feel. Sometimes, to think over it deeper, the person could have already made a huge impact and difference in our life, but it was so fated that we couldn't share the same journey together and by letting go, it willl be the best choice for both. It was miserable and real heartache to do so, but then again, there isn't any better choice....is there? I always believe in giving it a go with 100%. . . . but what if, it was already more than my whole heart could ever give and still, the same disappointment sets in? That is when I learn to surrender. And it was at this moment that I feel a great surge of gratitude in the love that I have received and in the kindness and sincerity of your heart. Thanks for the love. Sorry for all those unwanted pasts. I believe whatever that happened along our journey, it happened for a reason on God's will . . . . for all these help in growing and shaping us up more maturely and stronger.

I know in my heart, for every sunset, there is a new sunrise. Changes begin when I choose to think, to see and to feel differently. It's never too late to learn and I am learning to make a difference at every moment that passed me by. "Love is love when you give it away" . . . I will keep you and your love deep in my heart.